Wednesday, February 12, 2014

Love your self

you have to love yourself before someone else can love you. The reason for this is simple - our ideal partner is a reflection of us...
Each of us has a unique belief system, a way of seeing the world that is slightly different to everyone else’s. It’s almost like our ego has a fingerprint. What turns us on, what turns us off. What we feel is important.
The types of people that come into our lives are affected by our beliefs. We meet people who have made the same sorts of choices we make. All these choices reflect our values and our way of being from day to day, minute to minute.

The problem comes when you are romantically attracted to people who are not on your wavelength. This means, people who are not right for you, but who have something that you respect, or admire, or just desire. You want to be with the other person to feel good about yourself, to fill some hole inside you or to change what other people think about you.

If you like yourself, you will like the people you naturally meet, and they will like you. If you don’t like yourself, you will waste energy trying to get with people who aren’t like you, or you will settle for being with someone you don’t like.

Once you accept yourself you will realise your true motives for wanting someone you can’t have. If you want to be with them to compensate for your own shortcomings, you will no longer want them. If you want them because you want to be like their ideal partner, then you will become that person. So there is never a need to change yourself for someone else.

Accept yourself, and you will like the potential partners you can get.
Improve yourself, and you will get the partner you want.

Sunday, February 9, 2014

HOPE

So what exactly does having hope get you?

Hope is one of the most powerful emotions we have. Hope is what gets us out of bed in the morning when our lives seem to be falling apart. Hope keeps pushing forward because it believes you can reach your goal. Hope is the fire that burns inside us when we know tomorrow won’t be any better than today, but it is one step closer to a day that will be good. Hope is a key component that allows us to dare to dream and move toward freedom.

And my hope....

I have so many hopes for these recent years. I've just met the special thing which changes my whole life. I'm glad and thankful to God because He has shown me the precious vision, a great mision, a strong desire, a wonderful journey, various obstacles, and a gorgeous partner.

I wrote my hope down, because i know, Hope is a dream that doesnt sleep :)

God, I sincerely thankyou for this all.
Thank God I've found him, found them, found this blassed life.

Friday, February 7, 2014

what if...

I knew I loved you before I met you-- Savage Garden.

Maybe it's intuition
But some things you just don't question
Like in your eyes, I see my future in an instant
And there it goes,
I think I found my best friend
I know that it might sound
More than a little crazy
But I believe

I knew I loved you before I met you
I think I dreamed you into life
I knew I loved you before I met you
I have been waiting all my life

There's just no rhyme or reason
Only the sense of completion
And in your eyes, I see
The missing pieces I'm searching for
I think I've found my way home
I know that it might sound
More than a little crazy
But I believe

I knew I loved you before I met you
I think I dreamed you into life
I knew I loved you before I met you
I have been waiting all my life

A thousand angels dance around you
I am complete now that I've found you

-------------


well, it's an old song. but sure, it is one of my favorite songs. The meaning of the lyric is so deep. 

what if it really happen in my future life? that i love someone who i had never met before...
what if it really happen in my future life? that i choose someone who i had never known before..

Thursday, February 6, 2014

Oplosan-Man

so finally, I dicided to write this. 

Honestly, during the last semester, i felt so stressed. Well, I had a super busy time with a stack of exams consecutively. So, during at that time, I wonder if I was not a human (?) beside a robot which must has a brilliant brain. I became sleepless and I had to memorize all the words in the book which I don't understand why I have to do that. Seems like a robot? I guess yes.

I have to struggle passing this semester with 31 sks. As a good human being, education should be a part in my daily life. Those who give up on education, they must live in bitterness of ignorance.

In the middle of boredom with that campus-thingy, suddenly I watched  a news from television about young men who have drunk, something called "miras oplosan" just for having fun, and…experimenting (!) They mixed some dangerous chemicals into the water, like sprintus (?) -the material which I commonly use for my lab skill class- Oh, come on, you must be kidding. Those chemicals absolutely contain a total toxic for our body.

Can you guess what is the result? Yap yap. They were collapse, fainted. Well, I am interested in comparing these two contrasting conditions. First, my condition which is stressful with all the burden of education, with the hardest way hoping everything ends as soon as possible. Meanwhile, as the opposite condition, the “Miras-men” choose to enjoy their life in the shortest way with the simplest way.

I hate those people, who I called them “crum”. Don’t they think how if they die? If they survive, how much money is needed for the treatment? If they still alive, how is their family’s feeling? still care? Or neglecting…

How many more of young people who are thinking of killing himself by drinking cheap or “oplosan” alcohol? I think that It feels better if all the men who wasted his life should be wiped out, disappeared from this earth. The Earth is already crowded by humans. The occupants should be selected, whose brains are still sane and truly appreciate the life that could live here. While others (who don't appreciate their life) should go to Mars, or wherever...please don't fill my earth with your stupidity. Do not steal the oxygen (?) if it turns out you were reluctant to live. Just go !

What kind of thinking is this?

I just don’t like them. 

Tuesday, January 21, 2014

Revolusi


Tiba pula gadis desa bangun dari tidurnya.
Lampu yang menyala, kini padam
dan jendela yang lama tertutup
kini mulai terbuka.
Ada banyak angin berhembus, debu menerpa,
ilalang sampai sudah di ubin kamarku.

Temboknya kini berwarna,
Hiasan di dinding bertengger dengan sahaja
Arlojinya itu perlahan mulai menunjukan jenjang waktu,

Katanya,

Segeralah bumi berevolusi, dua kali lagi.

Thursday, November 28, 2013

Mercusuar

Lampu mercusuar berkedip di matamu..
Ombak datang, dan halau saja.
Lampu mercusuar temaram di tanganmu..
Gerimis menimpa, dan berteduh saja.
Lalu,
Lampu mercusuar tenggelam di hari-hariku,
Hari dimana aku adalah ombak dan gerimismu,
Waktu dimana aku adalah mercusur itu.

------
Mercusuar diam di pinggiran ombak
Menanti layar dan jangkar
Menerka
Siapa dahulu yang kemudian berlabuh.

Wednesday, November 13, 2013

cenayang

Ada beberapa alasan orang mengatakan, jika ingin dihargai orang, maka hargai orang terlebih dahulu. Sepakat sih. Tapi ada beberapa pengecualian khusus untuk saya, yang mungkin setelah Anda baca, Anda akan berpikir untuk.......tidak berpikir apa-apa (?)

Saya percaya ada banyak jenis makanan enak di dunia ini. Daging salah satunya. Saya percaya, -misalnya- sate sapi atau ayam itu enak. Tapi seumur hidup saya, saya tidak pernah makan sate. Atau -misalnya lagi- bakso isi daging iti surga makanan, nendang enaknya! Tapi -sekali lagi- seumur hidup saya tidak pernah makan bakso isi daging. Saya tidak makan ayam dalam bentuk ayam (?) Saya cuma mau makan daging yg sudah diolah kebentuk lain. Misalnya diolah jd nugget, fillet, jd daging kebab, dll. Yang penting bentuknya udah bukan daging asli (?) lagi. Padahal logikanya, ya sama-sama daging. Saya tidak makan ikan yang banyak tulangnya. Atau kalau secara sengaja maupun tidak sengaja  saya menemukan banyak tulang ikan dalam tumpukan nasi saya, kemungkinan besar kegiatan makan saya akan terhenti. Ya Tuhan, saya banyak maunya.

Seringkali ibu saya kebingungan kalau masak untuk saya. Tapi sederhana saja, ibu saya cukup masak sayur -apapun- dan saya akan bahagia. Masalahnya, ibu saya suka jadi kebingungan, sayur apalagi yang harus dimasak buat saya. Dari lodeh, sayur asem, sop, kangkung, bayam, soto, rawon, dll dll berbelas-belas tahun lamanya selalu bergilir ibu saya masak.......hingga bosan.

Iya iya, saya banyak maunya.

Jadi anehnya, secara semena-mena, saya memutuskan untuk sakit hati jika melihat makanan hasil karya saya tidak dimakan orang yang jadi naracoba untuk makan makanan saya. Sekalipun makanan itu saya beli dari warung nasi padang, kalau saya yang beli, saya akan merasa itu adalah masakan hasil saya *like a boss -,-* meskipun kadang (read : sering) saya tidak memakan apa yang orang lain masak, dengan alasan yang mungkin dianggap layak terima : maaf, saya tidak makan itu.

Saya akan murka, seperti yang biasa saya lakukan kepada Ayah saya (?) Secara turun temurun, mungkin sifat memilih makanan itu diturunkan Ayah (yang sialnya) ke saya (dan bukan ke kakak saya, huft) Saya curiga, jangan-jangan ibu saya itu seorang cenayang. Kenapa dia mampu membaca situasi dengan jitu. Kenapa feeling "hari ini masak apa ya" -nya hampir selalu tepat dengan kondisi perut kami yang sedang ingin makan apa. Dan kenapa masakan ibu saya selalu bisa diterima mulut Ayah dan saya yang sebenarnya pilih-pilih makanan? Iya, mungkin ibu saya adalah cenayang.

Ibu saya pernah meninggalkan rumah selama satu bulan lamanya. Selama sebulan lamanya -yang bagi saya rasanya seperti satu tahun!- saya harus mencoba memeriksa apakah saya seorang cenayang juga, atau bukan. Kasusnya, saya berhadapan dengan Ayah, yang kadang sulit ditebak, mau makan apa sebenarnya beliau. Dan bodohnya, saya seringkali salah masak masakan. Dan ujung-ujungnya, saya harus makan sendiri. Hiks. Ditolak. Oh jelas saya murka. Piring yang sudah saya siapkan, seperti di sinetron-sinetron, akan saya banting (?) secara tidak manusiawi, prang prang prang. Bukan karena saya suka suara piring, tapi saya hanya mau menunjukkan, ini loh Ayah sayang, saya lagi marah nih Yah. Yang kemudian Ayah akan sok-sok -an baik macam sedang ngerayu orang. Maaf, anak gadismu tidak mempan dirayu, kira2 begitu jawabannya.

Atau ketika saya masak (sesungguhnya jarang sekali masak) dan Ayah memuji hasil masakan saya, Oh meeen! Rasanya seperti minum air es di suhu 40 derajat celcius. Nyeees! Orang yang tidak banyak suka masakan orang kecuali masakan mama, seperti Ayah ini, bisa suka masakan saya itu ajaib untuk level orang yang tidak pandai masak macam saya. Huahahaha.

Dan saya jadi harap-harap cemas. Di kehidupan mendatang (?) Saya berharap bisa hidup damai dengan orang-orang yang memakan apa saja. Atau kalau tidak, saya akan memutar otak 4x lebih berat dibanding saat ini untuk menentukan "ya Tuhan, saya harus masak apa". Kan kasian, saya bisa jadi cepat tua.

Masak adalah pekerjaan yang sangat misterius untuk saya. Sambil melihat dan memandangi orang memakan masakan itu, saya seringkali berkomat kamit "semoga enak semoga enak" meskipun tidak jarang yang mengernyitkan mata, lalu senyum terpaksa, "enak kok", uuummm,,, buat saya senyum terpaksa itu adalah pekerjaan bodoh.

Dicoba dan latihan terus saja, belajar masak, supaya senyum orang2 yang makan makanan kita tidak lagi senyum sinting untuk menghindari murkanya saya. Haha. Yang penting, makanlah dengan ikhlas, hahaha.

Oya, dan saya tidak pandai membuat closing suatu tulisan. Sebenarnya ingin diakhiri dari tadi, bahkan dari awal menulis judul. Tapi jadinya malah sepanjang dan setidak penting ini.

Tuhkan, Anda pada akhirnya akan memutuskan untuk tidak berpikir apa-apa. Hmmm.